just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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