If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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