I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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