Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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