She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
