so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
