i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
