all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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