Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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