I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She's the barista slut.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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