Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
