last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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