i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
