Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
