found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
