dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
