it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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