i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize