I just made out with a guy for $7.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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