I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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