I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dear god my vagina.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
