I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
