In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My vagina just clenched in fear
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