If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i will never coherently bang her
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
