We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
