is wine microwaveable?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
