The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My ass is underappreciated
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
