My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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