Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
