The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
