she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
