I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize