you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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