it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
