He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
