"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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