Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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