nut hugger
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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