What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
