Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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