The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
