im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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