drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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