i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
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I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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