Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
