I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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