How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
