I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
