Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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