I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
