I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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