Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
